Youth & Ageing

The gals over at Feminist Fashion Bloggers are discussing Youth & Ageing this month.

There is discussion of *gasp* hitting the big four-oh! and even talk about how frustrating it is to be carded. Oh to be young again. Seriously? I have to jump in because so far no one has touched on the topics of menopause or ageism. Of course not, when being carded and contemplating the big four-oh! are the life experiences that have so far been lived it is understandable.  Besides, menopause and ageism are not sexy topics.

Dr. Robert Neil Butler coined the term ageism in 1968 to describe the dismissive treatment that seniors were receiving. Now I'm not a senior by any stretch of the imagination but Mama R is and I have to tell you it is quite scary sometimes to see the lack of patience out there.

Ageism has also helped to fuel a billion dollar cosmetic industry.

Youthfulness has become an cultural obsession, as baby boomers waltz towards retirement. The younger set are rushing to get their botox fix. In modern western culture youthfulness is prized. No new thought here.

It is like we're a culture of addicts in need of some serious rehab. Want perky breasts or a six-pack? There is a quick fix surgical treatment for that, no need to pad a bra or waste time exercising.

We're living in a youth obsessed culture of convenience from our food, health, beauty, or just fill in the blank and we're in denial over our addiction.

And while we're living this youth obsessed culture of convience, we're being callous towards each other in the process. Let's take a few examples from my workplace.

"Do you need to borrow money to colour your hair?" an outspoken co-worker blurts out loud.

On another occasion a former boss suggests that I "shouldn't take it the wrong way" before she questions my motivation for letting my hair go grey. "You look so much younger when you colour your hair", she adds.

It takes a strong person to stand up to the ageism in a work-place. Otherwise you will need a hefty bank account to cover hairdresser bills. And you'll have to be prepared for the backlash for standing up to the cultural norms.

The youth obsessed rhetoric has also echoed from within my own family in the form of "fat" comments from my elderly father and "old hag" comments from my youngest brother. Here gender imbalance intertwines with their ageist rhetoric.

Women deal with callous comments regarding the natural aging process far more times than their male counterparts. Men are often seen as distinguished when they grey. The cruel reach of ageism seems to barely touch men. Consider Hugh Hefner, 85. On second thought, let's not consider Hefner.

Rather let's consider Ari Seth Cohen's blog Advance Style celebrating the stylish and often forgotten older set. He is coming out with a book early next year chronicling the stylish folks that celebrate fashion with confidence that the youth obsessed masses lack while they're shopping at the mall.

Why do so many women buy into the youth obsessed notion of forever 21 young? Why are they buying into the marketing of hair colour, plastic surgery and spa treatments that promise youthfulness? I personally would like to know.

And believe me I've spend some serious coin at the beauty salon. But it was never about looking young. In my youth, I would dye my hair to follow fashion trends, not to try to appear an age that I'm not.

I'm proud of my age, the life I have lived so far, the life yet to come, and the battle scars that have come with it. Oh yes and the curves, I'm proud of the curves thanks to menopause despite what the males in my life express. So am I happy with the way I am, absolutely. I have no desire to be something other than me. But I have to admit, a wee part of me is inspired by the ladies in Advance Style.